i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
