please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
