They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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