Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
