i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
