FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
