He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
