So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
