I didn't shave. On purpose
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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