seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We smell like vodka and hangover
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