He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
