Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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