I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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