You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
