oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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