I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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