This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
