it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
