Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
