totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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