I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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