He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
