There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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