i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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