um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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