We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
