I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
