Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
