I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
