I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
