I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
