I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
