I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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