last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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