i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize