I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
