I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We need to get me chipped asap
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
