Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize