Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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