is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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