i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize