it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
