my mouth tastes like poor choices
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
