You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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