then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
