Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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