I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
