Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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