Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I smell stomach acid.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
