I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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