The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
