Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Randomize
