As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
