Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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