Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My bed smells like the plague
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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