he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I need to align my fucking chakras
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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